Posts Tagged ‘BALLOONS’
54 items.
Stop Calling In The Middle of the Night!
Mr. Clown is a very busy serial-killer lesson clown. Some days he starts work as early as four a.m. and will work until one or two a.m. the next morning. So when he finally gets to lay down and sleep after a long and hectic day of punishing bad children who misbehave, don’t follow the rules, or are complete d-bags, it is a great relief. However, sometimes just as he gets to sleep and is just about to start dreaming happy serial-killer lesson clown dreams, the phone will ring and wake him up! That’s not nice! Mr. Clown realizes that there are some times when a late night call is unavoidable, such as during an emergency or a family medical situation or even when a loved one dies. However, too many times those late night phone calls are not in any way an emergency. For instance, often after having too many margaritas at the club, Mr. Clown’s ex-girlfriend Gertie Clowntoes will call and want to discuss why their relationship failed. Not cool Gertie! Not at all! However, the worst offender of all Mr. Clown’s late-night phone callers is the evil elder god Cthulhu who was imprisoned a millennium (or so) ago in an under-water city in the South Pacific. Since getting a cell phone, Cthulhu has made it his business to try and get people to answer his call–and come to the South Pacific to release him from his prison so he can once more rule the world through pain, misery, blood, and fear. Mr. Clown often takes the call of Cthulhu, but quickly realizes that it’s just that crazy old octopus-face calling to ramble on and on about how awesome his rule will be. This has been going on for months, and this night Mr. Clown has had enough. Chartering a boat and packing his favorite machete, he is heading toward the South Pacific to pay Cthulhu a visit. Mr. Clown is very much looking forward to this visit, because when it’s done he’ll finally get a good night’s sleep and he will have so much octopus in the freezer he’ll never have to buy it again.
Mr. Clown: Stop Calling In The Middle of the Night! © 2012 City of Troy Productions
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Don’t Use Wire-Hangers!
It was just an average Mother’s Day with the family, when Mr. Clown heard something up in his bedroom. Going upstairs, he found something that was simply awful… Mommie Dearest was going through his closet! And she was tearing his clown suits off the wire hangers, while screaming, “NO MORE WIRE-HANGERS!” Mr. Clown did not know that wire hangers can ruin the shape of clothing. Nor did he really care. He has to replace his suits regularly, because blood stains rarely come out. There are some things boys and girls that terrify even Mr. Clown. So, on this Mother’s Day, prevent Mommie Dearest from teaching you a painful lesson, and avoid wire-hangers at all costs.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Use Wire-Hangers © 2012 City of Troy Productions
Don’t Talk Back
Ricky Graham has just turned twelve. And, like many twelve year olds he is convinced that he knows everything. In fact, he has decided that he even knows more than his mother. Mrs. Graham tells Ricky that he needs to do his homework and help out around the house. But, all Ricky does is sass her—telling her that she just needs to mind her own business and stay out of his! That’s no way for a twelve-year old to talk to his mother. At least in Mr. Clown’s opinion. In the past few weeks, Ricky has gotten sassier and sassier, and just won’t stop talking back. And, Mr. Clown has decided that it’s time for him to intervene. Poor Ricky…you should have just kept your mouth shut.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Talk Back © 2012 City of Troy Productions
Don’t Litter
City parks are places where everyone can go to enjoy being outdoors. The Green River City Park is especially nice, complete with a duck pond and areas for picnics, basketball games, playground equipment, benches for sitting, and even fields where touch-football can be played or on a nice day for kite flying. All the people enjoy the park, including the little children who get to play outside and get lots of fresh air and sunshine. One key element to keeping the park fun and enjoyable for everyone is keeping it clean. That means putting all garbage in garbage cans. While most people who enjoy the park are very considerate of others, Ryan Webber is not. Ryan just doesn’t pay attention to trash cans and throws his fast-food refuse on the sidewalk and ground! Fran Gerkenstine takes her dog Pythagoras for a walk every day in Green River City Park. And every day she ends up telling Ryan that he shouldn’t be littering. But, Ryan just laughs it off and litters anyway. Too bad for Ryan that Mr. Clown has taken an interest in litter-bugs and has vowed to squash them with his scythe.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Litter © 2012 City of Troy Productions
Don’t Rampage Through The CityJapanese Super-Lizard
It never fails. Every Spring, just as the town of Green River begins to turn bright and green, with flowers blooming and trees filling with vibrant leaves, the Japanese Super-Lizard arises from his home in the volcano in the middle of the lake just outside of town. And every year, Japanese Super-Lizard rampages down Main Street, taking out buildings and businesses left and right! That’s not very nice Japanese Super-Lizard! While Mr. Clown understands that since the nuclear testing that created Japanese Super-Lizard did not expand his brain along with his size, Mr. Clown is tired of everyone having to pitch in and rebuild every year. Enough is enough Japanese Super-Lizard!
Mr. Clown: Don’t Rampage Through The City Japanese Super-Lizard © 2012 City of Troy Productions
Don’t Talk On Your Cell Phone While Driving
In recent years, cell phones have made life more convenient for people all over the world. However, many people have decided that it’s even more convenient to use their cell phones while driving. Distractions such as talking on your cell phone can lead to dangerous driving, which leads to accidents. Recognizing this, the city of Green River has passed a law saying that driving while talking on a cell phone is illegal! However, Jessica Flax thinks she’s above the law because she’s sixteen, blonde, rich, and just got a brand new pink convertible sport’s car. Mr. Clown has decided that he is not going to wait around for a cop to catch Jessica on her phone. He is going to step in and put a stop to Jessica’s dangerous behavior.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Talk On Your Cell Phone While Driving © 2012 City of Troy Productions
Clean Up After Your Dog
There are many components of being a responsible pet owner. You must remember to feed and water your pet. You must play with them. And, if you have a dog, you have to take them for walks so they can “do their business.” And while you’re taking your dog for a walk and he “does his business”, you need to remember to scoop his “business” up in a plastic “business” bag. Most of the children in Green River are very good about cleaning up after their dog. However, Ann-Marie McDonahue never remembers to clean up after her dog Checkers. Little Petey Douglas tells Ann-Marie every day as she walks by his house that she needs to clean up after Checkers, and not leave his “business” on the sidewalk. But, Ann-Marie never listens. Unfortunately, yesterday while patrolling the streets of Green River, Mr. Clown stepped in Checker’s “business” and ruined a pair of clown shoes. This made Mr. Clown very unhappy. So today, he has been waiting and watching, wondering if Ann-Marie is going to forget to clean up after Checkers yet again… and if she does, Mr. Clown will make sure that no one ever ruins a pair of shoes due to ignored “business”.
Mr. Clown: Clean Up After Your Dog© 2012 City of Troy Productions
Bad Werewolf!
For the past few months on the night of the full moon someone has been terrorizing the woods outside of Green River! Cats and other small pets have gone missing. A girl scout disappeared on a camping trip last month on the same night all of Farmer Ted’s chickens were snatched in the night. And, someone keeps digging up Mr. Clown’s flower-beds! Since it’s only on the full moon, that can only mean one thing—WEREWOLF! So, Mr. Clown has grabbed his trusty silver machete from the basement and is going into the woods to teach that bad werewolf a thing or two!
Mr. Clown: Bad Werewolf© 2012 City of Troy Productions
Happy St. Patrick’s Day
Mr. Clown really believes every one should wear green on St. Patrick’s Day. It’s the right thing to do. Mr. Clown is wearing green. Are you? Let’s hope for your sake you are.
Mr. Clown: Happy St. Patrick’s Day© 2012 City of Troy Productions
Mr. Clown: Happy St. Patrick’s Day© 2012 City of Troy Productions
Don’t Have Loud Cell Phone Conversations In Public
Cell phones make so many things easier. If you break down on the side of the road or forget what you are supposed to pick up at the grocery store or even if you are running late for an appointment, you can easily dial and take care of the issue. However, some people don’t realize that while cell phones make conversations easy to have no matter where you are, you should not always have those conversations in public talking loudly. One of those people is Gloria Anderson, a senior at Green Lake High. Gloria thinks that reaching out and touching someone with her phone means she should talk at the top of her lungs, no matter where she is. And often she has the most inappropriate conversations while people have no choice but to listen. While at the mall, while in restaurants, while in crowds before the movie starts. Today Mr. Clown was having a nice lunch, when Gloria decided that it was time to call her gynecologist and discuss test results. Mr. Clown finds this wildly inappropriate and very disgusting. And, he’s going to make sure no one has their lunch ruined by Gloria again.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Have Loud Cell Phone Conversations In Public© 2012 City of Troy Productions
