Don’t Read Dirty Books
It’s very important for little children to keep their minds pure and clean. Dirty awful thoughts can get caught in their little still developing brains and warp and pervert them. That’s why even though Elliott’s dad Mr. Johnson has lots of issues of “Funboy”, Elliott should leave them where they are—safely hidden in a box on the top shelf of Mr. and Mrs. Johnson’s closet. One time Elliott saw those copies of “Funboy” and asked his daddy about them. Mr. Johnson said, “Elliott, that is not anything for a little boy. When you are older, you can enjoy that type of entertainment. Dirty Books are not for little boys.” But, Elliott thinks that he is ready—he is ten year’s old after all. He’s old enough to decide for himself what he can and can’t look at! He’s a big boy! So, every time Elliott is home alone in the afternoon, he sneaks in to his parent’s bedroom and takes an issue of “Funboy” to read at his leisure in the hours before his parents get home from work. This is why it’s so important that Mr. Clown will check in on the little children of Green River, especially when they are home alone. Today Mr. Clown has realized that Elliott will never understand why it’s so important that he not look at dirty pictures! After many many warnings, Mr. Clown has decided it’s time to teach Elliott one final lesson… Poor Elliott… You should have listened to your daddy and Mr. Clown.
Mr. Clown: Don’t Read Dirty Books © 2011 City of Troy Productions
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Mr. Clown loves holidays! They are such a wonderful time to celebrate a great many things! He especially loves Valentine’s Day, a day inspired by the murder of gangsters in Chicago during Prohibition on St. Valentine’s Birthday! Mr. Clown knows that all gangsters are very very bad and deserve to learn lessons. Lessons that sometimes can only be taught by being gunned down with machine guns at an Italian Restaurant. So, on this wonderful day celebrating very hard but very important lessons taught to people in the past, Mr. Clown wants to ask you to be his bloody Valentine!
Mr. Clown: Happy Valentine’s Day © 2011 City of Troy Productions


